Weight loss intro!

So ive officially purchased the amazing P90X. Its an extreme 90 day muscle confusion 1 hour workout! Im so excited to start it this week and a little bit nervous, i know its going to be very tough! It comes with 13 DVDS, Nutrition guide and more. Ive been trying to decide if i was going to get this program for weeks, and i finally did! My current weight is 109 and im a size 2. lets see how is goes! wish me luck :)

The Hardest Part...

The hardest this for me was loosing my body. I'm not trying to brag or anything, but before i was pregnant I LOVED my body. Size zero,103 pounds, flat stomach and toned everywhere. Now that Ive had my son, i wont even look at myself in the mirror... it just makes me depressed to see myself. Size 2and 109 pounds, that's not bad but definitely NOT toned, and not a flat stomach.. Now i wont even wear shorts around the one person i trusted with my body for more that 3 years... bikini this summer? ya right. More like baggy t-shirts at the beach in my future... I'm 17, 17 years old and i cant even go to the beach in a bikini... I need to take action, i need to get my body, my selfasteem and my confidence back but most of all my happiness.

Growing and Changing...

Its amazing to see you discover your personality. At three months you laughed for the first time and scared yourself ha ha. I loved watching you discover your hands! You would go almost cross eyed staring at them in front of your face for what seemed like hours. Your little hands...Hard to believe I'm "wrapped around" those tiny fingers. Those little feet, Will someday walk miles, but as of now are still so new, they haven't even felt grass beneath them. At four months your new favorite thing to do is stick out your tongue, smaller than a quarter, i never would have thought i would think a tongue was cute! Its so hard to get you to laugh! The things that i imagined you would think is funny aren't and the things i never would have imagined you laughing at you love! Five months and you no longer need my help to sit! I was so excited to see you sit alone but sad because with each new thing you do you become more independent and will someday no longer need me. Your feet are your new favorite toys this month, month six. You grab them, bite them and suck on them.I must keep them clean now ha ha. I still cannot believe that you are mine, my body created your body, your PERFECT, INNOCENT BODY.

First Days...

Being pregnant was the easiest part... Yes i "knew" i was carrying a child and that within the next nine months i would be holding that child and my every moment from that point on would be dedicated to this small human, but i didn't "know" that such a small person could cry so loud, poop so much, and need more than i thought i could give. My mother had once told me that being in the hospital was the best time because you have help from the nurses, well... my experience was completely different. I had just given birth to this tiny, beautiful boy, my son, and all i wanted was to be alone with him a cherish those precious moments but the hospital nurses were constantly in and out of the room. Waking him, waking me, turning on the lights etc... I couldn't wait to get home and spend time with him without him being taken from me every hour...But then i got home, So what do i do now? Why is he crying? i just fed him, his diaper isn't wet! Whats wrong?...

I'm exhausted..sleep? That word doesn't exist in your personal dictionary anymore, so don't even think about it! Lights on...Lights off...Lights on...Lights off, 12 am...hes up, 1 am...hes up,2 am...hes up, Will morning ever come?!